Dear Amy! My youngest son "Thomas" dated "Alice" all through school. It was a volatile relationship (he likes drama, not confrontation).
Alice became pregnant at the end of her senior year (senior year).
He took a paternity test to confirm that he is the father. They were able to make the trip (no legalities).
Thomas Trent three days a week (at night). Trent is now 10 months old. Thomas loves her very much.
The problem is that whenever Thomas starts dating, Alice uses the guy as a pawn.
He doesn't want his son to be with another girl and tells terrible lies about the girl to keep the boy away.
I try not to interfere in their relationship, but our son lives with us, so it is difficult.
I advised her to go that route, knowing the difficulties, or go to court for joint custody.
He is afraid of how Alice will react. She fears Trent won't let her see him for months until he goes before a judge.
What do you think? - Worried grandmother
Dear interested party! Your child should consult an attorney immediately to clarify parental rights and responsibilities. Otherwise, "Alice" will continue to manipulate her and jeopardize her access to the child. She could also choose to move out and take her son with her, and then "Thomas" would have to fight to try and enforce his legal rights.
If Thomas wants to go on a date, he has to spend four nights alone without his son. Unless she is in a serious, long-term relationship, she would be wise to minimize contact with her son.
He should block his social media and ask his date not to post anything about their relationship on social media.
You should always use contraception and make sure that everyone you have sex with uses contraception too.
His lawyer advised him to keep the existing custody agreement pending trial. I think you should avoid discussing this with Alice until the trial.
Dear Amy! Recently, my wife and I took our elderly parents and 11-year-old daughter shopping at the local mall before Christmas.
Our daughter has been acting very unpleasant lately and has been annoying and disrespectful since we arrived. We put up with it a little, but he was rude to the store employees. Basically, his mission seemed to be to destroy our day - and he did.
Now we ask ourselves what we should have done differently. - My father is getting tired
Dear Dad, at the first sign of trouble, your parents should have pulled him aside and asked him to get over his bad behavior and... pull himself together.
If he doesn't change his attitude within a reasonable amount of time, I think the parent should quietly take him home so he can have a very quiet, media-free day of reflection while the other parent continues walking.
Then you need to make him understand that your goal is to be the best he can be and treat others well.
You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com.
